permuafakatan

i don't know how to say "permuafakatan" in english,
and i also lazy to google translate it~ :P

just want to say that i just get the report card during permuafakatan.
teacher did say something unexpected to my father =,=
i expected teacher will say:
my result still need a lot of improvement...
cannot play anymore...
need focus on study...
be concentrate in class...
and so on~
but,
my teacher said:
you got improvement,
but need to increase your mark.
so you need to do more exercises.

see that?!
teacher is amazing~
she can express all the words into the beautiful sentences.
even there is same meaning >,<
but i like this way~

teacher also said that i am a good student...
i don't really think so~
i think i am not a good student because i haven't do my responsibility as a student to get a flying result.
am i right?

teacher even asked my dad was he satisfy with my result.
my dad answered that the result is for her(me),there is no chance for me to change.
after i heard that,
i know i need to put more effort.

do you know why?
because i well know my dad.
when this sentence out from his mouth,
that's mean he is not really satisfy or even disappointed.
every time i felt down because of my result,
my dad will surely beside me and advised me.
i know he cared about my result very much,
so i scare to fail or get the worst result.
i can't let him accept this once more.
i can't let him feel down because of my result.
i know the result he got when he was young made him regrettable and want his children to get rid of it.
so i will try to do my best every exam.
but unfortunately i did not do my best :(

i will remember these...

you HURT my heart!

today,1st day of August.

it SHOULD be a good beginning.

i said, it SHOULD be~

i know you all wondering what i was thinking just now.

actually nothing.

i mean i HOPE there is nothing.

so i kept doing my mathematics exercises.

let myself busy and forget everything.

i shut up my mouth and try to focus on the questions,

stop laughing,stop talking,stop thinking of that.

because i know i will cry if i continue to act like i don't care.

i want to thank the one sit beside me.

do you know why?

because you telling me the truth.

i do not mad on you nor everyone of them.

i just need some time to be rational.

honestly,

the moment you told me,

i felt very angry and think that this can't be forgive!

but,after some time,

i start to think due to the positive side.

i should be thankful.

i should thank for all of your concern and care to me.

but why?

why all of you do not telling me the truth?

why all of you made this as a joke?

why all of you are my friend?

i really no idea with what i am thinking now...

my emotion and intellect are not under my control now...

i rather you all just straight to the point radar made it as a joke!

i am so disappointed and hurt. :(

do you know that not everything can be a joke?

do you know that not everyone can accept this as a humor?

a beautiful day ruined by a meaningless temper.

all of this is my problem.

all of this start with my problem. 

sorry, i really can't withstand my emotion.

sorry for my temper.

sorry for all.

today,

1/8/2013

we built a wall between us...

i hope i can break down that wall one day.

i hope i can... T^T

============================================

trying to find somebody to cry for,

but there is no one...

2013/07/31

today is the last day of july 2013.
#abuden?!#
today is the day i knew my result.
#so??#

i think almost all of my classmate have improvement on their result as they did their best~ :)
but...
i am not satisfy with my result although there has some improvement.
i don't know why...
just feel so down today.

when i took my chemistry exam paper,
i really feel like want to cry,
but i force myself to be strong enough to happy.
then, i saw my friend crying at there =,=
his/her result is better than mine eh~
suddenly my mind went blank...
and slowly turn to blue...
do you know what does the blue means?
blue = emotion~
i backed to my sit and kept my mouth close.
i think many thing that time.
during recess,my form teacher asked us to check our ranking in the class.
i felt nervous and scare to look for it.
i know i haven't did my best!
but my friend look for mine and tell me my ranking =.=
erm...
my tear was scrolling beside the eyeballs~
i force them to go back to their own 'home' once again as i think:
crying now doesn't mean anything as it only bring you to the sad.
the results were there,crying is meaningless and helpless!
and the results only proved the effort i did,
i do not did the best,
that's why these i got lo~
if i cry that time,surely i will feel hopeless.
my result?
hahha...please get ready to look for the worst...

1. mandarin 73%
2. malay language 66%
3. english language 76%
4. mathematics 83%
5. additional mathematics 49%!!!
6. biology 52%
7. chemistry 50%
8. physics 58%
9. history 75%
10. moral 89%

3 months left, but some of them still below the baseline of A-...
even C still appear!
C stand for CANNOT be forgive!
C stand for CONTINUE be a failure!
rank 11 in class,
how worst is it... :(

we can be sad, but we must happy and refuel for the next exam.
i want my tears to bath my cheek at the moment i take my spm result next year,
with full satisfy, enjoying and happy mood~!
for me,that's a only chance for my tears to drop.

let us do our best to beat the rest,my dear friends~
===================================================

if humans scold the dog or whatever living thing for not understanding their language,
why not us to learn what they actually want to say?

merdeka!

today,
about 4 hours ago...
my 1st trial exam is over!!!!!!
finally i get out suffer from that crazy test!
the time management of my school really worse!
or in other words, my school principle really know how to appreciate the time.
my school only use 1 week or 7 days to take the exam while others use 2 weeks or more to sit for exam~
almost everyday need to stay just sit for the paper.
why my school do not prolong the exam time?
my beloved principle said:
"every year we have 4 exam, if every exam we use up 2 weeks,then we will waste our time of 2 months~"
wow~~~~i really think that my school's students are so amazing~
as the principle thought,we can all withstand our time problem~ =,=

mandarin,
malay language,
english,
mathematics,
additional mathematics,
biology,
physics,
chemistry,
history,
moral...

these 10 subjects really killed my sleeping time,
cause me panda eyes,
sacrifice my online time,
let disgusting pimples appear on my face and so on~

they are so cruel to me~!
i want to kill them!!!

hope that i can reach my result after all... :)

yesterday...

10/7/2012

1st day of fasting month~

but...

i am not a malay~ :P

so everything as usual lo...

except go home early.

back to the main point.

i was not in good mood yesterday after school.

why?

because of some people la !

i wonder why some secondary student very anxious to fall in relationship.

if want to in the relationship, it's ok~

but please don't disturb others!!!

library is a place for students to read and study,

not the place for certain "partner" to make noise!

i really feel like want to curse that kind of person that they will break as the ending!

if you want to go to library with your lover,please behave.

slow down your voice and do not disturb other!!!!
at least do not sit in front me because you are too shine and i did not wear the sunglasses!
小孩子就是不懂事！小小form 1 form 2谈什么恋爱？
看到很显！
一起学习就还好，抛下学业就有点过了，
让别人不能学习那就犯下大错了！
为什么就不能隐藏自己的感情呢？










是不是心硬了，就冷了？

8/7/2013

生病了，呆在家～
昨天哭了一个小时，
所以人不舒服～

没去学校，
唯一让我担心的，
是如何向ml交代。
因为我也没去医院。

今天上adma，physics，math，bi，bm，sej，bio，bc。
今天，老师又教了什么？
SPM还剩119天。
11月6日就开始考了，
12月3日就考完了。
在这一年里，
我就缺席了3天！！！！
我知道我很过分。。。
可我越紧张，
就越紧张～

haiz～
在这119天里，
我会有什么转变呢？

chemistry，
虽然说我知道你很爱我，
可感情是不可勉强的。
但是，我会努力的让自己爱上你的！

读了一早上的华文，
我想去做点别科目的练习了～
chemistry，我现在就把爱献给你！T>T

impossible!

不可能的！！！！
不可能！！！
不可能！！
不可能！

不可能也不可以！