1201am till 0112am

its just a start of 18/2/2014 now...
since i had long time not visit and post something on this blog
i decided to write something sincere from my heart
its doesn't mean all i write before is fake
but this time...
all of these really made my day...urgh!

i really dislike CHINESE NEW YEAR 2014!!!!
although i got my 1st salary in my life right before CNY
but i had felt there is something lost for this year...
and i don't even know what is it~!
i don't feel no more happiness and joys when i received angpau,went visited relatives' house
what's on my mind is just a horrible and terrible agony

all troubles came out after SPM
i also realize that i changed a lot
is this call "grew up"?
or just a personal mentally changes?
its february now
where should i continue my further education?
1 of my friend had start her course at kl,
1 go to australia this few days,
2 go to singapore on april,
some go to private university....
how about me?
must always say NO to private...but so difficult to enter government university...haiz
should i study form 6? i really really really resist it before and of course for now too...
or i just let my dream just a dream and go singapore take nursing course for free?
or i just stop pursue my aspiration to become a teacher and accept the offer to become a pharmacist?engineer?architect?
and what is my status now?
a student?a tutor?a unemployed?or just a lazy person that always stay at home?
why suddenly money become so important to me?
i know money is not everything...
but it still is something...something i needed..
i need it for studies
i need it for my needs
i don't want use any money from my parents for my further study
but how?is it enough?how to make it enough?

analyzing data....
want to be a teacher? sure~
go form 6 lo.... don't want!!!!
then how leh? wait for the miracle happen .... *punch!*
how if there still do not has any news at may? where can i go? from 6 and wait for june and july intake of my "dream university"...... :(
how if they don't choose me? do i still want to continue study form 6? if no,why choose to start study form 6?just want to know is form 6 study can handle by me or not...
if can't?don't want lo...take other course... if can?continue form 6 life...then think again 2 years later~
haiz...hopefully this won't happen to me... get me away from form 6!!!!


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i will be 18th this year...i want to slim down! seriously...hahahaiz
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其实去古晋回来，我有写一篇超长篇
只是有些事，儿童不宜～哈哈哈 jkjk
最近才发现我少上了blog,却多写了日记。
要想的事，变多了吗？
还是，发现自己越来越不是自己想变成的自己呢？