撩妹语录

深夜我若有所思，如果我是男的。。。肯定是个大情圣！🤣

1
"你知道明天和今天有什么不同吗？"
"明天我对你的爱又多了一点"

2
"你知道我曾想过为你改名字吗？"
"我想你改名为人人"
"因为。。。大家都认同我爱人人，人人爱我"

3
"我不能和你一起玩123木头人"
"因为我每次见到你，就心动了"

4
"你为什么老是这样，不问一声就拿走别人的东西"
"你打算何时还会你在我这里拿走的爱"

5
"我希望我们就像太阳和地球"
"有你在，我的世界就亮了。而我，还能一直留在你身边"

6
"其实我挺羡慕你的"
"有个我那么喜欢你"

7
"有你在，我感觉自己正在环游世界"
"因为我的世界就是你"

8
"我才不理你是什么星座"
"只要你安静地坐在我心里就好"

愛

最近跟朋友有聊到“愛”這個話題，
不知道是朋友圈裡突然出現了許多關於愛的帖文，
還是我才關注到了這些帖文。
發覺發帖的都是一些比我小好多的小屁孩所寫的。
不過或許在你們眼中，我也只不過是個小屁孩。
有時心中會有一絲懷疑，他們當真懂什麼是愛嗎？
但後來才發覺，自己的愚昧。
難道年紀輕輕的，年齡不大的，就沒資格說愛了嗎？難道他們的愛都是不成熟，都是衝動，只有大人的愛算是愛嗎？
其實不然，我們不能因為他們的年齡而下定論，也許他們呼出的二氧化碳沒我們多，但是他們經歷的事情，思考的方向，我們都不知道。
你們說他們不懂愛，這可是間接的否定他們與生俱來對父母，長輩，弟兄之愛啊！
也許會說，這是兩回事，但要知道，我們打從有感覺起，愛，便是我們的一種感受，一種表達。對人、事、物，無一例外。
當然，我不會說他們嘴裡說，文裡寫的愛情值得我們歌頌，也許有些真的是一時的被現實蒙蔽，但請不要一棍下去，打死他們的感受。

time flies

----------introduction------------

I was surprised when I see that the last post I wrote is on 2nd January

which is 10 months ago!! 

well...it shows that how busy am I

hahah...okay...is how lazy I am

Through the months,

I am officially 20.09 years old today

And, I am a practical student 

which means I am working!!

oh yeah~ learning from working

what a wonderful thing to be

----------end of the topic-----------

what I realize throughout the year is...

sometimes, what you need to do is,

sacrifices a thing to get another.

I left my hometown because starving of knowledge

I left my family because craving for freedom

I left my old friend because I want some adventures

...temporary...

Yes, that is not necessary but the outcome worth it

Independent, confident, communication, courage, problem solving...

I don't see these anymore, because I feel it! I have it now in myself.

Be brave and be kind.

Do what you want to do in the early age

To achieve what you want at the middle age

 

hello 2016

Today is the second day of 2016,that's means 2015 had became a history and saved in memories. Nothing can change the past, past can change nothing. 

Review back what I had done in the year of 2015, I don't think I still remember how I had gone through my sweet 19. 

JANUARY: I had completed my first semester in my college life. Expectation always more perfect compare with reality but reality brought more surprise than what you expect.

FEBRUARY: semester break and came back register for new semester on the second day of Chinese New Year. Actually it was not really register on the second day but few days after that, but since flight ticket is very expensive and I need to save budget, so come back early and start to enjoy a new semester. Never forget that I need to cuddle with my 8 subjects for those four months.

MARCH: Osh Club committee had a new election and new committee had selected. It was the first activity that organised by them, a trip to JPAM Carnival. At there, I get know with my senior including the one I am anxious to know from the day he first call me "kakak" during his toolbox presentation about ebola, the one I attracted with his smile and those I only know they are my senior that under taking Bosh.

APRIL: Had a three days two nights trip at Melacca and Negeri Sembilan during mid semester break. That was such great and wonderful experience since it was my very first trip to go another state with friends. Even though we had no reliable transportation to go around all the place, but be grateful that we still have our legs to travel around. SUNBURN!

MAY: I had attend the Festival Belia 2015 at Putrajaya. That was my first time to join such festival. during the even, there had lots of booth selling foods and desserts...MY HEAVEN!! haha... then...there also had the zombies walked around the street, really feel like I was at somewhere at oversea. I really think that it is a very excellent carnival that suitable for teenager because it gather all the teenager around Malaysia and intro for us to the tradition and culture of other nearer country. Never forget I ever know a person from Sabah although I don't know his name. Hope to join it this year again. Oh yaa...statistics tuition session made me closer with my senior. Thanks to them for sacrificed their time to teach us. Here I know who is kak Ida (sinuda).

JUNE: my big bro and his friend from primary school came to KL for their training on their job. It is such a fortune and happiness that the friends can gather again after graduate. For sure, I went out with them that I expect I will have a chance to drive the roller coaster but failed. As a reward, my big bro sponsor me the visit of aquarium at KLCC. Wonderful "underwater" trip. Of course my brunch, dinner, dessert and transport fees were paid by my big bro. 

JULY: I had done my final exam for 8 subjects!! Feel like I had done my PMR once again. Waiting for my another semester to come. I knew my nightmare is coming at that point. CHEMISTRY! Special thanks to all of my friends that bring their raya foods and shared with me. 

AUGUST: I put my first step to Midvalley with my housemate, Nana with the purpose of watching Monster Hunt. A fantastic movie to watch. And for sure, we go treasure around in the Midvalley. At the mid of August, my batch was assigned to handle the raya celebration decoration, I am really grate to have them be my helping hands. Then guess what, I received my first raya purse with rm3 inside from the president of Osh Club. Silat dinner came after that. Sincere from my heart, I really interest for all martial art including silat, teakwondo and karate. At the end of August, I volunteer myself be a part of young mercy for my senior YM project. Great and meaningful activity conducted by them, have a great day with the kids and them. Erm...once again, SUNBURN!!!!

SEPTEMBER: it's my birthday month! Thanks for the gift, surprise and wishes... touched. I had went karaoke with my friends. For my very first time too, I went there with my Malay friends. But I really enjoyed the moment so much. In the same month, I had my second trip in my college life to Negeri Sembilan, it was the first trip with Jacq because she missed the first trip with us. At there, we stayed at her cousin house, so...special thanks to them with their nice threats. 15 sept 2015, Jacq had officially transferred to Sabah for pursue her dream at there. Lots of reluctance, but it is her choice, anyway, thank you for being my side for all ups and downs. Never forget that I had emergency fly back to Miri during my semester break. I need to company my grandpa for the rest of his life.

OCTOBER: a new semester were going on...without Jacq. In the same month, I lost my beloved grandpa. I felt desperate but can't do anything here, not even have a chance to see him for the last time, only through the photo sent by cousin. Few days later, one of my classmate also passed away from the accident. This month, life teach me to say goodbye.

NOVEMBER: someone had threaten us IKEA meatballs even though he was not feeling well on that day after the resume seminar, a useful seminar organized by Osh Cub. The person who delivered the speech is the fiance of sir Hari!! In the same month, we had invited to attend to their wedding. Very anxious and excited since this is the first time I attend to Indian's wedding dinner. Millions of appreciation for my beloved senior (hakak hakak and abang abang) for becoming our driver and listener. Oh...nearly forget that we got our cooperate shirt too, nice design.

DECEMBER: we went out twice together with hakak2 abang2, one to PD and one to Shah Alam. Very sad to say that they had gone for their practical in this month too. Although the duration that we been together is very short but the memories created will never be forget. Good luck and all the best for all of you. There is a happiness call hakak abang. Erm...thanks for giving us that something that we need when you moved out from hostel. Hoping that later when we move out, there is something beneficial to our junior too. :D

----------thanks 2015...its time to start another amazing year!----------

failure

Nowadays, many people do not know each other but they like to judge them without any deep understanding about others. Well, not even ourselves understand ourselves. So, before I forget who am I, I decide to write it down.

I am the person who haunted by failure. I could not say that I failed more than you ever tried but i might said that I am afraid of failure much more than you guys do. That's why I always work hard on something just try not to fail. Alert that "not to fail" is totally different with "success". "Success" means you have get the highest achievement after complete the work while "not to fail" means that you achieve the minimum target with the least satisfaction.

You might think that I am relax with my studies but the truth had prove it wrong. When you said I can understand easily all the topic discussed but you never think that how many midnight oil I had burned just want to get know what I should learn. I just have more determination. A little bit determination. Someone had ever told me that success is belong to ordinary person with extraordinary determination, maybe that's why I been inspired.

Anyway... failure doesn't corrupt your future but it does help you build your future. We all learn from the past, is it? Experiences and knowledge can be gain from mistake. Appreciate it.

#spirit of cockroach!

cosh 6/10/2016

COSH stand for "Conference of Occupational Safety and Health"
i enjoy every second at there.
there is many activities, exhibition and speech that open to public.
i join the speech with the title " empowering your skill without competency" and "who is SHO? challenges and opportunities".
finally i found my reason why i want to be a safety and health officer.
"i may change the fate of a person to lose their love one."
this is what i set on my mind after the talks.
everyone is working on risk, but we as a SHO can prevent the occurrence of the hazard and minimize the risk expose.
i am glad i found my reason after 1 year i study the course, not too late is it?
before i study this course, i never know something like this.
after i study it, i interest on it, not because of the opportunities offered in market, but the challenges that i would face.
seriously, i never think of the salary i will get in this area, i am thinking of what is the responsibility that i need to care.
after joined the conference, i learned something new, something that i only read on note but never practice before. i love it.
keep learning no matter what, do anything just for the knowledge.
besides, it is the first time i met with many people that work in safety and health. i just feel like there is still has someone outside there that same as me. i am not alone...i have my other family.
they are not hesitate to share their knowledge with me too, i feel grateful.
one day, i will be one of them, a successful one.
keep on, keep spiritual!

this is my first time go to PICC too~! the view is so nice and i just cant stop to be excited! i even get lost inside there...haha

learn the way to wear safety harness...read is not the only way to learn, should practice it!

vision test by MSU... thanks to all of them because never tired of answering my questions.

my result of vision test, quite normal except i have different power of each eye. thanks kak azira for the explaination that i asked for a long time. wish to meet you again kak.

i asked the person why there are so many different color of coverall available. he said that because everyone has their own favorite color. =,=

from behind to the front: resistant of heat(silver), prevent the sting of bees(white), resistant of electricity(grey),multi purpose coverall(orange), coverall that can keep us warm even at -2 degree celcius(blue) and me...hihi

nothing much...i just enjoyed the moment and i increase my confidence again. i always be confidence when i think i have something inside myself.

thank you osh club~

thank you... ^^

if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.

虽然。。。但是

我虽然不完美
但我却是唯一的
我虽然不漂亮
但我拥有自信心
我虽然不聪敏
但我能自由思考
我虽然不敏健
但我仍四肢健全
我虽然不温文
但我能体贴有礼

我虽然无法拥有全世界
但我拥有亲情和友情
我虽然不能拥抱全世界
但我能学会如何给予

生活虽然无能事事都如意
但我却拥有感恩的心
生活虽然充满挑战和坎坷
但我却学会坚强毅力

人生，
并没有所谓的完不完美，
就只是在于你看世界的角度。

而有些时候，
感恩竟然是来自无法表达的埋怨。
感恩，至少还有东西好埋怨。。。

3 august

smile and confidence are the most valuable treasure

we can own a world by owning them

i ever try to convince someone with my words

try to motivate them

try to increase their confidence

they are motivated and confident at last

but they never know i lack of confidence at certain time

even though when i try to help them

confidence are not build in a short duration

it builds by giving and receiving

giving out the positive energy

receiving all the nature phenomena

accepting all the ups and downs then convert them into the source of spirit

after all...when you make a mistake or facing the failure again

it will just reset to zero

which means everything you have did are nothing now

this happened to me two years ago

so i think i know how it feels like

if you have confidence

automatically you will have a shinny smile on your face

we can gain back confidence exactly the way we lost it

physical appearance, intelligent, family background and so on

the world may not belongs to us but we can change the world by smile and confidence 

of course with great attitude and be grateful

SEM 2 FINISHED

部落客就是一个自己写给自己看爽的地方
其实是想分享
但又要保密一点的心态
所以我今晚又来啦

diploma in occupational safety and health (dosh) semester 2 finished.
mission accomplished for this semester!
forget the final,
forget the result,
lets talk about me,talk about what i faced in these 4 months ^.^

do you still remember that i ever said i am regret to be there?
CUCMS... i ever regret to be there...i say ever...
but after what i had gone through these few months,
especially this semester, i had changed my point of view.
what had convinced me with this college?
many factors but not the management.

for your information, i am surrounding by Malays which i am the only Chinese girl in this course.
i really uncomfortable with these at first. although i have many Malay friends but i had never experience few months or may be few weeks without speak mandarin. as the time had gone, i realized something. i found that some of them really take care about me. for those who had learned mandarin in primary school, they even try to speak mandarin with me (they are Indians and Malays)...i really appreciate it for making me felt that i am not alone at there. touched~

in this semester too, i felt being love and respect. i don't know whether it is my "faulty feeling" or not,
i just felt that the seniors are treating me like their sister more than a friend or junior. i like this, these made me felt that we are one huge lovely family. i did feel in this way because my same course friend had ever told me so and i did feel the difference. erm...or this is because i am the "special" species in this course so they treated me so? but i hope that it is my own personality and the comfort ability made it so.

then, i saw some changes on somebody. their spirit had made me energized. their spirit to change positive and taking serious in education are the most encourage me to find out what make them change. next, i found that i also had few changes of myself. first, i start don't really care with what i care so much before. it is not because i do not obey my principle but it just like there is a thing which is more valuable to care about and it makes no differences too if i care so much which can make me hurt myself at last,right?

other than the knowledge gained,i think i had improved psychologically. i am trying to accept something by magnified the pro than the con...but not all...just something that i ever hide or "delete" it from its pro...*i hope somebody will understand what i try to say...haha* after i went through something and get know somebodies, i had made out a statement "sometimes there is no wrong or right in such situation, it just about the comfort ability and suitability. "

excited to turn semester 3~~~
anxious with what will coming soon.

下午时分

若说人与人之间是靠只言片语来维持的

那么这段关系是多么的脆弱

从古至今

人们都会不断地问

人世间，究竟情为何物？

可是却始终没有一个明确的答案。

竟然连“情”都无法拥有一个注解

那你们还相信承诺吗？

有时候

你们所给予我的承诺

我并不抱太多的期望

但我选择相信你们

相信你们无论做了什么决定

都肯定有你们的原因

无可否认

我也曾食言，也被食言过

曾心痛过，也让人痛心过

但，终是会过的，不是吗？

那些零零碎碎的言语

只有在被遵守后

才是承诺

要不然

只能算是顺风的美言

朋友，

谨记，这些并不是那么重要。。。

三天两夜之马六甲

7/4/2015
今天起了个大早
提起了前晚准备好的背包就和两个朋友启程了
原本一切都进行得非常顺利时
我们的第一个考验来临了
巴士迟迟未到。。。
要知道，我们可是要分秒必争的啊！
于是乎，我们在太阳底下晒足了一个小时。
不过庆幸的是，我们都有带雨伞哟~
所以无所谓，只是觉得有点对不起双脚。
不过，到后来才知道。。。
这只是折磨双脚的开始。
大约0935时，我们终于抵达了位于bts的巴士总站。
搭了delima的10点钟10令吉的快车
大约1200时，我们到了马六甲巴士总站。
首先，我们要做的，便是去找我们的住所啦！
于是乎，我们搭了巴士到市中心。
万万没想到。。。
我们的马六甲之旅就这样突然的开始了
因为巴士就把我们放在其中一个旅游胜地
当天，我们去了：
1.jonker street...盆栽冰淇凌，鸡饭粒，durian cendol!!!!难以忘怀~~~
2.jonker library...那里有许多关于佛学的书
3.christ house
4.stadhuys
5.dutch graveyard
6.st. paul church
7.a famosa...好小。。。
8.dataran pahlawan
9.mahkota parade...这两个地方纯粹为了躲雨
10.maritim museum...这个嘛。。。晚上外面看去挺美的
11.st. francis xavier church
等等。。。主要的是，我喝了一杯超好喝的coconut shake

8/4/2014
我们今天去了一些各教信徒的崇拜的地方：
1.kpg hulu mosque
2.kpg kling mosque
3.一个印度教。。。名字太复杂了
4.青三亭
5.宝三亭
还有一些名胜地：
1.hang jebat陵墓。。。他的故事。。。好confusing
2.hang li poh well...为了这个，走到脚酸却始终与它擦肩而过，不过幸好最后有遇到
3.抗日英雄纪念碑
4.museum islam melaka
5.museum seni bina
6.light and sound...这喷水池和音乐的结合甚是美丽特别
7.people museum
8.museum cheng ho
9.museum heritage baba nyonya
等等。。。其他的都忘了名字
我们没去menara taming sari因为我们一致认为不值得，
没去river cruise...因为我们都已经沿着那河流徒步而行了。
对了！当晚上我们又去找吃时，我们发现了摩天轮！
加上晚上的夜景，真的很美很美很浪漫。

9/4/2015
起床，搭了巴士回到总站，然后再搭7.70马币的plusliner快车到芙蓉。
在那里，我们原本的计划泡汤了。
原因：那里的交通不便！
所以，鸵鸟没看着，自然生态公园没去着。
不过有件事挺感恩的
到了simpang sri menanti
原本要行走6km山路才能到达的istana sri menanti，
我们只走了2km。
"大"插曲——我们上了森美兰州yb的车。
原本我们都不知道的，
就在车上谈话中知晓。
他为人真的很随和有礼。
到达museum istana sri menanti后，
才知道原来还在维修当中。
因为那110岁的建筑还是需要保养的。
所以我们唯有在外面走走看看。
那里的管理员看到我们三只小猫从yb的车上下去更是吓了一大跳。车牌：5555
随后，我们就跟着yb儿子的车出去simpang了
他的儿子开始时，还半信半疑的说。
不过在短短的几分钟谈话里，
发觉他还是挺好的一个人。
然后我们就搭巴士回总站啦
沿路上，我发觉除了多牛多羊多鹅以外，
我还真的是第一次看到了panggang itik...而且还是整只的。
之后，时间也不早了，也转了几趟交通，终于。。。安全抵达宿舍啦~！
后来想想，若那时没贵人相助，辛辛苦苦走到了那里却又跟你说还在维修中，闲人免进，然后又走回去路口。这怎么还得了啊！！真的太感恩，太感谢了！

这次的马六甲和森美兰之行，
除了走了不懂多少远的路（总觉得我脚要废了）
和得到一些历史知识
还教会我如何独立
更教会我如何感恩。
最后，我想说的是。。。
我明天懒惰洗衣啦~~！！T>T
唯一遗憾的，就是没吃到baba nyonya的美食。
不过没关系，日后到槟城再尝吧~！

second semester

第二学期
总觉得来这里不是身为一位学生
而是如何当个家庭主妇
如何为人子女

为了满足我环游西马的欲望
我这学期大多带便当
菜也要自己搭巴士去购买
谁准备的呢？
当然是自己
这样我才懂得
以前爸爸妈妈早起为我准备便当的辛苦
这是需要多大的毅力啊

衣服必须手洗
因为用洗衣机太贵了
所以每天早上都得爬的早点
这样才不会手忙脚乱的和室友争浴厕

这里没有人肉闹钟
你错过了时间
就是错过了一天
没得赖床
没有借口
当然，还得抢个巴士位去学院

这里没依靠
我并不确定是否是好坏
也不知道能不能升华自己

在这里
我只知道
你不努力
你赶不上时间快车
你不坚强
没人当你的支撑柱

tough,but i enjoy...

观点

来这里读书几个月了

还记得上次放假回去时

有个人问过我 我在这里看到了什么

我觉得……我还没认认真真地回答过他这个问题

在这里

说真的

除了课业还是家常便饭以外

其他的事物都让我改观

至于这是否是件好事呢？

见仁见智吧！

在这远离故乡的地方

我终于明白妈妈平日嘴里常说的那句话

“别太容易相信人”

这里的人

不知是该说神奇还是奇怪

对于他们

当个双面人，墙头草简直是个专属他们的领域

若太容易对他们掏心掏肺

最终只会让自己没心没肺

在这里

我不否认曾遇过一些好人，真诚的人

但有些却让我看清这社会对他们的摧残

太多的事故教化他们如何去虚伪，做作，背叛

对于这群人，我真的深表怜悯之意

当然，我也许也是他们其中的一个

而这些，都是我以前从未体悟过的

我的社会观都随着我的所见所闻而渐渐摧毁

儿时的幻想也被现实给打败

真诚，难寻。

真心，难遇。

童话世界真的不存在。

我真的好想回到那个谁都可以相信，待人都是真诚，无需掩饰的世界。

有些话，不能说，

有些话，不该说，

有些话，不想说，

有些话，懒惰说，

有些话，没人听你说，

这些话，只能藏在心里让时间把他们给淹没……

行动早于意识

‘行动早于意识’
重温旧剧时听见的一句话
是吗？呵呵
也许吧~
回忆里
自己都没什么行动过
难道我潜意识里是。。。
算了
我戒蛋挞！

母校

母校

之所以成为母校

是因为

它

孕育了我们

我有三个母校

罗东幼稚园

罗东中华公学

罗东政中

罗东，就是我第二的家

母校

一个打好我基础

一个灌输我常识

一个树立我人格

今天去了我的国中

挺缅怀过去的日子

所做过的事

所见过的人

所遇到的困难

所经历的风雨

所克服的难题

所拥有的甜蜜

所得到的智慧

所收获的一切

没了它

肯定成就不了今日的我

我很感恩

我进了那间学校

那间被其他学生认为是地狱的学校

我很感恩

我遇见了那些老师

为我淘尽所有的师者

今天结伴的去那里

挺欢乐的

学校变得不多

但往日的老师却转走了不少

地尤存但人已非

那里的每一个角落

似乎都有着专属自己的回忆

昔日的同学

都不知身在何方了

遇见了一个我又爱又恨的老师

一位生物学老师

他还是一样

只是现在站在他眼前的这群学生

每个都读着不同的课系

我还是一样的尊敬他

还是觉得他挺疼我的 嘻嘻

还遇上以前教过我的几位老师

我也还是很尊敬他们的

他们都没变

还都是一样

为学生们奔波劳累着

说回今天结伴的大家

有几个月不见了

变了吗？

似乎都没怎么变到

突然想到

不知道十年后大家还会这样聚在一起回母校吗

无论如何

我都很珍惜这一张合照

照片无需多

有意义就好

Bed time story

夜里睡不着觉，
心就会莫名的痛了起来。
人就是这样的没尊严，
总是在闲时折磨自己的心灵。

没事，就说说我的一个故事。
因为痛了，惯了，
再痛的时候就不觉得痛了。
毕竟都四年了。
说出来自己总会好过些。

初中二的时候，
那是我第一次遇见你。
那时，是学长训练营。
那时，你高中一。
那时，你我在同一组。
那时，我才刚认识你。
那时，我从没想过你会那么重要。
话说，那时我应该是一小无差哦！哈哈
那三天两夜，我真不知道做了多少糗事。
无论你对我的印象如何，还是完全没印象。
反正我是对你有印象了。
应该说是对你的笑容有着印象吧！

就因为你一个无意间的微笑，我熬过了那些天。可笑吗？我不知道。

到后来，我不知怎么了，
就喜欢偷偷地看着你。很恐怖吧？
因为不知怎么的，看到你，我就很开心了。

就这样过了半年，
我上了初中三，你高中二了！
这一年，我有点开心，也有点害怕。
但我更是担忧。
因为这一年，我们都得面对一个重要的考试。
我高兴，是因为你的班级楼层就在我班级对面。
虽然中间隔着一个小湖，但心里总是欢喜的，因为这样就能天天看到你。
我畏惧，是因为那年也许是你中学生涯的最后一年了。
那一年，你很优秀。
那一年，我渐渐地知道你是谁。
那一年，我鼓起勇气第一次与你说话，虽然只是短短的三句。
那一年，我为了能够和你有个共同点，我努力爱上历史，地究。就为了要和你一样拿全甲。
那一年，我知道我喜欢你了……
还记得，有一次考华文，我去了趟厕所，回的路上，遇见了你。那时，我心里可是心花怒放啊！要知道，考试去洗手间，是我少有的事，更何况遇见你。那一次，我华文拿了全班最高。因为……作答状态良好。
那一年，我做了很多傻事。非常傻的事。我甚至吃醋我朋友和你太靠近，担心你为了复习累坏身子，倒数着开始的日子，考试的科目等等。我知道我做这些都做得太傻。可是没法，谁叫我是个傻瓜。

我终于上了高中了。
你没出现在校园了。很不习惯。
你成绩出了，很棒！
你来学校领奖学金。
我看着你离去的身影，有种不舍的感觉。那时，天空也被乌云笼罩着。似乎知道我心中情感。
以你的成绩，我以为我会再也见不着你了。以为你就要上大学了。哪知道，你又来我校，读了中六。班，又在我班对面。
我见到你，可是万般喜悦。
那年，我很碰巧的参加了许多活动，算还有点出息吧。就想着要你认识我，知道有我这么一个人存在着。我不知道，这到底有没有作用
无论如何，中四都是我最幸福的一年，不知为了什么。就觉得挺充实的，挺对得起自己的。

我中五了。
你的中学生涯也要到了尾声。
我的也一样。
相信我，我真的尽力了。
可就怎么也爱不上化学。
还记得有一次，我陪伴我的朋友去问你些事。抱歉！我的声音提高了。因为不知咋地，我在你面前就好像无法冷静下来啊……
还有一次，你拿了一叠证书到我班，由于我坐门边，所以你拿给我，要求分给证书的主人。我答应了，咋这么一看，第一张证书是隔壁班的，我心里那么一乱，就说了一些醋话。不是不情愿，而是我不知道你来我班是为了见谁。到后来想想，可能是老师吩咐的，也可能是因为你认为她在我班，也可能你看到证书的主人大多在我班，才会拿来的吧！抱歉！是我太没脑了……
也许这些事，你早就给忘了。但没关系，反正对你都毫无意义。

今年，成绩出炉了。
你的还是一样的辉煌。
而我的。。。
结果考出来的成绩。。。
别提了。
那时我可是哭得稀里哗啦的。
一来是因为不达标。
二来是因为辜负了老师。
三来是因为对不起父母，自己。
接下来就是因为你。我也不知道为什么，这本应与你无关的呀！
拿奖学金的那天，你也在。
我是多么无脸见你。别说你了，连他人，我都没脸见。
我选择上中六。
五月五日，我去了照相馆，遇见了你。
从来都不知道你在那里打工。
那是第一次你主动和我说话...……………
我心中的浪花可是那么的澎湃。
可到后来再也没有你的消息。
因为我还是老样子，去上课。
可转系不成功，就停学啦！
何必折腾自己对吧？
结果。。。就来到这了。
无意间，得知你也来到西马深造了。
西马，不大，但也不小。
更何况，我们都不同州属呢。
不过至少，我们隔着的，不是海。
但可悲的，我们的距离，是两颗心的距离。遥远得无法可及。

这里，谁也没能像你一样勤奋，友善，热诚，上进，善良。

但也谢谢这里的一切，因为这里让我知道书本是我唯一的依靠，知识是我唯一的追求，宗教是我唯一的归属。而你，将只会是我生命中一个难忘的过客。

希望彼此的将来都很好。努力为未来奋斗吧！

故事完毕了吗？不知道。。。有没有续集，就要看上天的安排了。一切都是当天最美好的安排。☺

十二月

不知不觉，来了这里四个月了。这只个月里，我承认我有了改变。但我不知道我变成了什么样。
这里的人还多样，好多版本。
我不知道是我的观念错了，还是我的观念误导了我。
有些人，我很喜欢。喜欢和他们一起来疯。有些人，我喜欢离他们远远的，因为我不喜欢他们的烟味，他们的粗口，他们的个性。可是我却要去接受他们。这种接受，对我而言是个坎。
在这里，我开始畏惧了。我害怕自己的责任。因为在他们眼里，我就是个华人的代表，美里人的代表，甚至是宗教的代表。我真的害怕我做得不够好。我害怕因我的不好而影响到整个团体。现在，我甚至开始害怕高兴。我担心当自己被称赞而高兴时，在他们眼中是中骄傲，是种炫耀。我害怕满足，因为我担心自己的满足会让本身无法前进。
我知道我的害怕是有少许是多余的。但就是无法删除。
没关系，继续加油努力吧！
也许，慢点就会习惯了。
还是说些我比较喜欢的那些人吧。
他们大多都是男生，因为我班大多也就是男生的说。他们当中，有一个很特别。也许是因为同年同月同日生的关系吧，我喜欢和他在一起。他就好像是我期望的哥哥。嘻嘻。。。ahgor,多向他学习...他很好相处，好学，真诚老实，也很可爱，能给我一种安全感。我们就喜欢较劲，一起互相学习。我感恩能与见他，他们。谢谢你们。

一切都是上天最美好的安排。

外加：
我无意透过一个人知道你学习的地方挺好的。我们加油吧！别让自己累坏了。

原来。。。

刚刚在广场遇见一个人,还以为是你。
也好,让我知道原来我还是这样。。。
念着你,想着你。
当时我脸简直是张染了血的布,
心跳更是要停止了。
哈哈。。。
我该如何忘了你。
也许前世我欠你的情太多了吧!
今生才会如此。。。
也许还完了,
对你的情也会了了。。。

特别?

生日过了。。。
昨天觉得挺特别的
可是今天回忆起
却觉得这种感觉不是特别
是种新鲜。。。
也是种怀念。。。

半夜十二点被一群认识不到两个月的人
围绕在旁
被他们所唱的生日歌吵醒
是种幸福
午夜十二点收到两封来致远方朋友的生日祝福短信
是种幸福
早上自己煮红鸡蛋与室友分享
是种幸福
在学院被每个刚认识甚至还不认识的同学祝福
是种幸福
中午在微信看到他们各型各样的祝福
是种幸福
下午得知有个和我同年同月同日生的同班同系同学
是种幸福
晚上看见大红葱发芽
是种幸福
过后看到脸书上老好友的留言
是种幸福
得到人生中重要的人的祝福
是种幸福

种种的幸福
让我觉得满足
同时
也挺让我怀念以前
因为以前的有些情谊
却因为当下的某些情谊淡化
不舍吗?
不是,因为我知道这是得面对的。
只是需要时间去适应。
但愿以后些年
若再见,还可扬起嘴角,
给个微笑,说声问候

无奈
18岁了
老了。。。

2014/9/7

明天便是中秋佳节了。
突然好想家。。。
想家里的一切人,事,物。
俗语说
月圆人团圆
可如今我却孤身一人在外
是有点伤感的咯
更何况这里华人要绝种了

以前
总认为外头的月亮比较圆
现在才知道
有些地方是看不着月亮的
以前
总以为自己已经长大
如今才发现
原来每年的今天我都会不经意的庆中秋

现在
没月饼
没月亮
没灯笼
没亲人
没你们
总觉得这中秋不是中秋

爸爸 妈妈 哥哥
玲姐 姨姨
道友 朋友
读经小朋友
zhuzhu
ahchan
ahwang
kopi o
乐乐
我想你们了

我知道我才来不到一个月
可是
古人都有云
身在异乡为异客,每逢佳节倍思亲
更何况是中秋。。。

也许
是我习惯了每年和你们一起同欢
让我觉得
没你们笑声的中秋
不完整。。。

也许
我也会慢慢地习惯
一个人的中秋。。。